I was just reading my good friend (probably one of my best friends) tims blog - and it made me realize that authenticity is what i've been needing in my life.
So here goes some authenticity! i have really been struggling with my relationships in Manhattan. i took kate there a couple of months ago so that she could meet my family (part of it) and not really having "high expectations" about the weekend, I was let down. i didn't realize the impact that bringing my girlfriend (especially to those who have seen one side of a broken relationship) would have. a friend of mine confronted me about our relationship and the rest of my "time off" was spent in partial anger, and partial shame (as though i had let my friends down) .
The only reason i say this is b/c resently i talked to another good friend who was questioning the relationship. it made me realize that i have not done well at all to communicate my life in branson, especially my relationship with kate.
how does a sophomore in college communicate growth, especially when he goes home to everyone treating him like they did when he was in high school? that is not an arrogent statement like, "look at me, i'm so much more mature!" which any growth that i have recieved has been purely God!!!! right now, i'm just venting.
i just wanted everyone to know - which includes my manhattan friends, that i love you guys and i'm so sorry for loosing connection with you guys. it's wounded me down into my heart. i pray that whatever time, space, or growth was lost the holy spirit would fill the gaps. Glory to the Holy Spirit!!
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A view and desire of a man looking for the Living God!
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i am...
- nick
- Branson, Missouri, United States
- I'm walking through a haze, getting a glimpse of my Lord here and there - trying to know and be completely known by others and myself and not merely walk and die on this earth, but live!
12 comments:
Nick,
Thanks for the candor and the vulnerability. That will go along way in this strange process of life. Be strong in the grace that is Jesus Christ.
DR
Hey buddy,
I think you are doing a great job of honesty and humility. I know that it is such a struggle. It has been so cool to see your heart come out in all this stuff.
honey pie,
i'm so proud of you every day. not in the way that a dad is proud of his son for doing things well -- condescendingly nodding in approval...
more so proud of how you keep on struggling with the hard things without letting go... of how you keep slogging through them. you're an example of humility to me consistently, not just in this one post. i'm inspired by your constant desire to be living a life of grace and glory to god.
i'm so thankful that you share your life with me.
I'm proud of you too friend, and thankful for you. THanks for coming up and hugging me yesterday. I like that you're not afraid of emotional women. That's two times you've hugged me when I've been crying! :) I'm pretty sure that Jesus is strong in you.
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