Popularity is an illusion

So today in one single moment I marked my fate for life! Today we had a special communion at Harvest. They had four tables up at the front and four couples who would go around and invite people to commune with them (only for a couple minutes) and then they (the people being invited) would leave and someone else would be invited (it may sound a bit complex but it wasn't too much). After we'd go up there we would put name tags on (so people knew who had already been served) and we would right what name we'd like to fit us. So I go up there, already self analysing and grasping for the grace of God, and I commune and I write my name Authentic wich is beautiful and only seals my what I wrote next. I was trying to be cool (as cool as a Lord of the Rings fan can be) but I wanted to write some name (not necisarily understanding what I'm writing) so that I sound a bit deep and maybe possibly be thought of as "wizard like" (not really, but I thought it cool in my head) and what I wrote actually doesn't mean a thing in any real language, but it sounded like a Hebrew word (after I thought about it for a while) but I couldn't tell where I had heard that before. So as I am going on throught the service and the fellowship time, I remembered where I had heard the word that I wrote, it sounded a lot like what Hosea is told to call one of his childeren which means "God will not have compassion on you," and what's worst of all, there are a few men at Harvest that actually know what the words mean. This embaracement only makes me think, so often I (we) do the dumbest things because it looks good. It's times like this that I realize how "unhip" I am to what I always blow up in my mind to be. Now here I have a choice, I can say (like I did in the 6th grade) "I'm going to stop being such a dork" but the truth is this is the way that I am, and Christ loves me this way!!! my spiritual walk has nothing to do with how "together I seem to have things" or more "how I do in the popularity circle" but that has nothing to do with santification, Christ did not come to the world to make people little "Fonzy's" running around acting all cool! lets be who God made us to be!! Praise Jesus!